Frequently asked questions about sex during pregnancy
Dr. Isabel Rodríguez-Piñero and Elena Iracheta , gynecologist and psychologist respectively at the Women's Unit of the Ruber International Hospital, answer the most frequently asked questions about sex during pregnancy and its safety in this video broadcast live on our Instagram account .
Numerous studies confirm that having sex during pregnancy is completely safe and poses no danger, except in pregnancies with contraindications , such as premature rupture of membranes, threatened miscarriage or preterm labor, or any condition for which your gynecologist has specified that sexual relations are not permitted. Otherwise, if the pregnancy is normal, there are no contraindications; in fact, it is beneficial for both mother and baby.
Why sex is positive during pregnancy
During pregnancy, the pelvic muscles are more vascularized, meaning there is increased blood flow, so sex is beneficial in this situation. Furthermore, it helps reduce stress because oxytocin, the hormone of love, empathy, and sexual intimacy, is released during orgasm. Releasing oxytocin is good for both the baby and for us physically.
It's important to understand that releasing this hormone can cause contractions, and this is normal and physiological. Nothing to worry about unless they are painful and rhythmic. These contractions occur because sexual activity is physical exercise, and it's common to experience them afterward. It's simply a muscular response that usually lasts a couple of minutes (the time oxytocin remains in the bloodstream).
Sex during pregnancy throughout the trimesters
Studies show that 54% of pregnant women experience a lack of sexual desire during the first trimester . This is directly related to physical symptoms: in the first three months, libido decreases if there are problems such as discomfort, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, etc. Obviously, if we are not feeling well, desire decreases, and we don't feel like having sex until our bodies adjust to the pregnancy.
This situation usually changes in the second trimester , when the pregnancy is more established. During these weeks, we'll notice an increase in libido and a return of desire ; our breasts will grow, and we'll feel more attractive. Many women even report having their first orgasm during this trimester. This is due to the physical changes women undergo and the increased blood flow to the pelvis, which makes orgasms more intense and sex more pleasurable—something we should enjoy.
In the third trimester, sexual activity tends to decrease again due to the growing belly and increased physical discomfort. However, desire is still present, so it's important to adapt positions for comfort, choosing those that don't put pressure on the abdomen. Sexual relations can continue until the end of pregnancy without triggering labor.
Furthermore, we don't have to limit ourselves to penetrative sex; relationships can be much broader. Oxytocin is released not only through orgasm but also through massages, hugs, caresses, kisses… All physical and emotional contact will make us feel good.
Sex in the postpartum period
It seems we've been taught that postpartum lasts six weeks and that from that moment on we'll be perfectly fine, but that's not always the case. Every postpartum period is different, and some women feel fantastic after three weeks while others don't feel the same after three months. And that's perfectly fine; every woman needs time to adjust because every situation is different . We shouldn't put pressure on ourselves or feel social pressure.
Plus, at this time we're focused on our baby, caring for and feeding him, and we have our pleasure covered thanks to the release of oxytocin that occurs when we're in contact with our baby. Our own body is telling us that we won't have that urge to have sex.
During the postpartum period, if breastfeeding is ongoing , there is a physiological suppression of hormones by prolactin, because nature is wise and wants to prevent new pregnancies. Prolactin inhibits sex hormones, and there is an overall decrease in libido.
This stage also involves physiological vaginal dryness , so we recommend using lubricant to ensure pleasurable and pain-free intercourse. If you experience pain, always consult your gynecologist, a pelvic floor physiotherapist, or a psychologist or sex therapist, as discomfort often has a psychological origin and can be resolved in just two or three psychotherapy sessions. It's important to prevent vaginal pain from becoming chronic, so see a specialist as soon as possible for a complete evaluation.
It's important to remember that a lack of appetite is normal. It's crucial to understand that the body needs to readjust after nine months of significant physiological changes . In the postpartum period, everything returns to normal, but it's important to be patient and not try to force things your body doesn't want. Furthermore, the changes aren't just physical; they're also emotional . Women need to accept their new bodies, cope with changing roles (mother, wife, worker, etc.), and even miss things from their pre-pregnancy life. All of this is normal and, as we've emphasized, requires an adjustment period that, in many cases, lasts more than six weeks.
It's also important to highlight that significant hormonal changes occur during breastfeeding, which can lead to emotional lability (rapid mood swings), the "maternity blues" (postpartum blues), or even postpartum depression. All of this is normal; it's not always depression, but rather periods of hormonal fluctuations that cause instability, and there's no major problem. We should accept that it's normal to feel unwell. In any case, if we notice that the symptoms are more severe or last longer, then we should consult a professional. We need to take care of ourselves because to care for others, we must take care of ourselves, and for that, we need the support of our partner.
The couple
It's important to remember that for a man, the arrival of a baby is also a major life change , and he too needs an adjustment period. It's normal for misunderstandings and friction to arise at first, and often these problems stem from a lack of communication. It's essential to talk to, care for, and show concern for your partner, asking them daily how they are and how they feel, respecting each other's personal space, and so on.
It's very easy to get lost in the world of a baby, which is why we recommend dedicating some time each day to your partner, even if it's just ten or fifteen minutes: having a drink together, enjoying coffee in the morning, going for a walk, preparing a bubble bath… it's important to find and share good moments . And, when the baby has grown and you feel comfortable enough to leave them with someone, it's also nice to enjoy a weekly lunch or dinner just the two of you.
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If you found this article interesting and would like to be seen by a specialist in Gynecology and Obstetrics, the Women's Unit at Ruber International Hospital has a specialized department in this area. You can request more information by calling 91 387 51 72/73/74 or schedule an in-person appointment with top specialists.